Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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