he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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