his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
