Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
