Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Someone signed my nipple.
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