you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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