I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
