too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
