mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
