The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
