i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
