He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
