You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
