these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
