just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
