why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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