so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
