I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
