No stitches, just platelets and will power
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
