trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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