I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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