More tranny stories later!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
