they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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