watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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