i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
