I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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