well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
