He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
