I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
