He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
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