i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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