don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
