This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize