no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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