are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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