walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
