how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
