wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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