This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
