Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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