Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
