Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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