just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
