I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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