I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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