My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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