batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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