they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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