soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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