This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Are my feet made of real feet?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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