So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize