I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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