Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
