I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
