So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
