get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
