ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
