i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
