he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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