Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Randomize
