If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize