I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The air taste purple.
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