I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
