you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
