i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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